From the Rabbi’s Desk
Rabbi Manes Kogan
Lech Lecha
Martin Buber includes in his Hassidic Tales, a short story I want to share with you.
In a small town in Poland the Rabbi’s wife’s maid broke a very expensive ceramic jar. The Rabbi’s wife wanted to sue her maid and ask her to paid the cost of the jar. So the Rabbi said to his wife: "I will also go with you to the court." The wife responded to her husband: "I don’t need you, I can explain it myself." To these words the Rabbi answered: "I am sure you can, but the poor maid will need some help, so I will go to the court in order to help her."
When I read this story the first time I was wondering: Why does the Rabbi want to defend the maid? Isn’t his wife right? The maid broke an expensive jar and she should pay for it, and then she will learn to be more careful in the future.
And I answered myself: the wife had the right to sue the maid, and probably she will win the case, and she will have the money of the jar back.
What happens is that sometimes, even though we are right, we need to give up. Sometimes we need to make the sacrifice and lose in order to win, in integrity, in "mentshkait".
To be right is very important but is not an absolute value, and of course, is not a value you can judge by itself.
Before you use your rights you must ask yourself the following questions:
Who is the other part? Can I give up in order to avoid a confrontation? Can I give up in order to avoid an embarrassing situation? Is not compassion more important than justice? Moreover: Isn’t compassion an entire part of justice? What will my relatives, my friends, my people and the people in general think about the step I am making?
Tomorrow we’ll read in the Torah:
"And there was quarreling between the herdsmen of Abrams’s livestock and the herdsmen of Lot’s livestock – and the Cannanite and the Perizzite were then dwelling in the land. So Abraham said to Lot: "Please let there be no strife between me and you, and between my herdsmen and your herdsmen, for we are kinsmen. Is not all the land before you? Please separate from me: If you go left then I will go right, and if you go right then I will go left" (Genesis 13:7-9)
Lot owed very much to Abraham. Abraham took care of Lot when his father Haran died. He supported Lot in need and brought him to the Land of Canaan. Abraham was more tired than Lot. Lot was stronger and younger than Abraham.
Abraham had the right to fight for a better land, but he decided to avoid a confrontation: "If you go left then I will go right, and if you go right then I will go left" – said Abraham to Lot.
To be right is very important, but sometimes is more important to be a "mentsh".
Abraham was a mentsh and did another favor for Lot, letting him pick up the best land even though Lot didn’t deserved such a favor. Abraham gave up the best land in order to maintain peace between him and his nephew.
He lost, but he won.
To follow Abraham’s way a lot of wisdom and faith is necessary.
May God bless us with these two important qualities.
Shabat Shalom!